Next year

So – Nigella’s fruitcake tasted wonderful, albeit a little rich for me.  It was so dense and also with the rum in it, was similar to a heavy Christmas pudding. But more-ish, and I found a very content Mr.42 on the sofa, with a distinctly more rotund belly after he’d eaten a big piece with cream. 😉

I’m going to halve the recipe & make two as gifts. But onto baking cookies later in the week.

This morning I was catching up quickly on Sunday newspapers and came across this quote:

“The Christmas heart is a giving heart, a heart that thinks of others first.”

This is true, and I doubt many of us derive much pleasure at all by buying ourselves Christmas gifts.  I know I don’t – in fact going to a shopping centre with the sole intention to spend money on myself is one of the least satisfying things I can do.  I get no true satisfaction from doing that.  In fact the last time I did, I remember feeling quite flat as I drove home.

So I thought I’d feel a little ‘good’ when I did a mass Christmas shop at a major shopping centre on the weekend, buying for family and friends.  I enjoyed choosing a couple of things for Mr.5 and Mr.2, and like getting my Mum something special.  And I’m yet to get Mr.42’s special gift, but that’s always nice to do.

On the whole though, it felt like one big chore.

Because Christmas shouldn’t be about buying ‘stuff’.

The above quote of course, is about thinking of others who need help, time, support. Thinking of and giving to others less fortunate.

I’m so very, very guilty of not doing this enough.  And while I do a few small things for those I know who are disadvantaged, it’s not enough.  I’m conscious of the fact if I invested my time and energies into those less fortunate, if at least at Christmas time, I’ve no doubt that Christmas, for me anyway, would be a whole lot more meaningful.

I feel embarrassed and disappointed with myself to say:  next year.

Alison x


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