When I grow up

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Me?  I’m really not sure yet.

I’m hoping my ‘true calling’ <insert dash of sarcasm here> might miraculously come to me around my thirty fifth birthday, which, I may add, is not too far off. 

Yes…I am almost thirty five and still cannot pinpoint exactly what it is I want to do. 

That’s not to say I do nothing now.  I have two kids, and if you’re a parent, you’ll know you can easily fashion two kids into a full-time (and rather exhausting) occupation. 

I also work part-time, and it’s nice enough.  Helps pay the bills, and is wonderfully family-friendly.  But is it what I want to do, really? 

Not on your life. 

In reality though, most of us don’t end up doing what we really enjoy for a living.  We do what we have to do to get ahead.  I’ve done that for half my life – and still am – working in (enjoyable enough) jobs that help put a roof over my head.  My husband’s been doing the same thing.  You do what you have to do..

But soon, a window of opportunity will be opening up, allowing me to reconsider the question of ”what do I want to be”.  A question I haven’t really asked myself in earnest since I was a kid. 

You see, Mr.4 starts school next year, so it will just be Mr.2 at home.  Work-wise, I strategically took a job that omits a long commute and is perfectly workable around school hours.  So in a few months, I’ll have a bit of time open up for “other things”.

WOW.  Other things?  T-i-m-e?  It’s almost unthinkable.

And as time is so precious, I don’t want to waste any of it. 

Which has led me to the dilemma I’m currently in.  I could do more study.  I could start a business borne out of an interest.  The problem is I have so many things I am interested in, I can’t make up my bloody mind!  I’m starting to drive myself (and my husband) insane.

In any case it’s a fortunate position to be in, I’m very aware of that.  And so I’m not one to waste it, like some I know during school hours – swanning about getting fake tans, fake nails and their roots re-done before a cafe lunch and home in time to watch Dr Phil and Oprah. 

No, it sure as hell won’t come down to that.  So it looks like I have some growing up to do, and fast!

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2 responses to “When I grow up

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