The need for speed

Generally speaking, when it comes to getting from A to B, I think there are two types of people. 

There are those who want to get from A to B as fast as possible…and those who aren’t really fussed.  They’re just happy to make it to B sooner or later.

I fall into the first category.  In most cases, I can’t get to B soon enough.  I’ve always felt the need for speed.  If I were a man and we were back in the mid-80’s, there’s no doubt I would have modelled myself on Maverick in Top Gun. 

I loved Tom in that movie…he was at his peak back then.  Nowadays though, I’d specifically avoid a seeing a movie if Tom Cruise was in it.  If you haven’t seen Evan Ferrante on You Tube impersonating Tom Cruise, watch this.  Funny guy!

But anyhow, moving on.  Moving on quickly, because that’s what I like to do.

If I’m at the airport and one of those travelators is coming up, I hop on straightaway.  I love those things.  So long as you have the space to move forward, suddenly you’re going twice as fast as the people who chose to keep walking along the normal floor (I do walk fast).  If I’m completely honest, sometimes I glance at those people and wonder…how could you not choose to go faster? 

At the shops, there’s both escalators and travelators (ramps).  Escalators are just stairs, except they move.  We walk up stairs, yes?  One foot after another.  Now just because the stairs are moving, does this mean we should just stay put and wait till we reach the top?  I think not!

Ok ok.  I know people get tired when they’re out shopping, and riding the escalators is a welcome break.  Or they have kids with them and can’t move quickly (I know that feeling).  But I swear some people stop moving, the minute they get on something that does.  Have they stopped to admire the view?  Of a shopping centre?

What really irks me (and yes, I know I’ve moved into rant territory, but bear with me) is people who hop on the ramp, stand still…but also park their bags next to them so as to block anyone else getting past.  Admire the view if you wish, but let us past, please!

Socialising (L) and standing still for no particular reason (R): examples of how not to ride a travelator 

I will admit, however, I take my need for speed to the extreme sometimes.  You see, once I’ve navigated my way to the top of the escalators, if I know the shop I want is a fair distance away, I will run to it.  Yes, run through the shopping centre.  I know people generally walk in shopping centres and it is not a place for exercise.  But as I rarely get the chance to shop on my own, I don’t like to waste a minute.  So I jog to my shop of choice.  I usually arrive a little out of breath, meaning I got some exercise in as well.  Do I care what people think?  Not really.  Some turn and stare as I run past, but hey – running, walking…we’re still all just moving our legs.  Why not put them to good use?

Legs aside, let’s move onto driving.  Or more to the point, speeding.  This is where wanting to get from A to B quickly can become problematic.  Before I had kids, I sped…a lot.  Looking back, I am rather ashamed of how I chose to drove.  Doing 100km/hr in my old Laser through the streets of Sydney at 2am (one hand on the wheel, ciggie in the other).  Driving my husband’s V8 ute and losing the back end many times – which actually wasn’t hard to do in that car.  Receiving several speeding fines (does ‘several’ mean 5? Quite a few, then).  Getting into fast cars driven by people who I didn’t know, or really trust, because I thought it was fun at the time.  Stupid stuff.

But having kids, along with age of course, matures you and there’s no way I’d drive like that now.  I obey the speed limit, although admittedly I still find it hard to stay consistently under 60km/hr and have received speeding tickets that confirm as much.  But I am progressively improving.

Recently though, we were entering Melbourne airport and my husband was driving.  We were headed towards the final traffic light before driving into Departures.  We were late for our flight.  The traffic light went orange and I urged my husband on “we’re going to miss our flight…go, go!”  Usually he wouldn’t listen and drives the way he wants, but this time he did.  As we were halfway through the orange light it turned red.  A flash went off.  Red light camera.  I won’t repeat what hubby and I muttered under our breath.  We did make the flight – but it was kind of bittersweet.

Soon after, a familiar-looking envelope appeared in the mail.  Red light camera infringement notice, as expected.  When I saw the fine I nearly fainted.  Let’s just say it was the most expensive 1.5 seconds we’ve ever lived. 

So, I’ve got to rein it in, this need for speed.  Without a doubt when it comes to the roads. 

But as for those travelators?  No chance.  You wouldn’t catch me dead on one.  So please people, stay on the left, out of the way.  I’m coming through!


7 responses to “The need for speed

  1. Can’t stand the slowies. I motor along on foot and by car (but I never consciously speed in suburbia… shame on you MM!!). One of the irritants of parenting young walkers is that everything needs to slow. down. to. toddler. speed and I can’t handle it. I feel like I need to pack a thermos and a sambo just for a walk to the end of the block we’re that slow. x

  2. ok. Now I’m going to be unpopular….

    Let me start with that Tom Cruise video is the funniest thing I’ve seen in months. I haven’t laughed so hard in ages, if only I wasn’t in danger of waking up the children who knows where it would have ended. Thank you!

    Now the bad bit. I was all speed before kids, I too sauntered past those standing idly on escalators. However after having kids I have had to stop, wait for their little legs, hold their almost vertical hands and teach them how to use escalators. Don’t walk, don’t jump, stay in the yellow lines, stand next to mummy, hold my hand, watch for the top and ….. step offfffffff….. NOW!
    I have a special hell reserved for the people who have regularly pushed past my kids because they couldn’t wait the 60 seconds it takes to get to the top. They have been shoved, hit in the head, and nearly knocked over so many times that I’ve literally seen red.
    How to do you teach a child patience, safety and how to do the right thing when I can’t even find examples of it at the local shops. Nowadays my 5 yr old can go without my hand and he knows to keep to the left to let people past but I stand abreast with my 3yr old so that she doesn’t trip getting off and if people can’t wait then they need to realise there are more important things than getting to coles 1o seconds faster than me.
    Sorry for the rant – you touched a nerve 😀
    I think I should go to bed.

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